Russian Strategic PlannerTO: President
Vladimir PutinSUBJECT: Request for Guidance1. Mr. President, we are doing very well in executing your strategic direction.
After humiliating the West in 2008 by seizing two valuable regions of annoying and tiny Georgia (Abkhazia and South Ossetia), we have
consolidated our diplomatic triumph by achieving recognition of them as
independent nations by four other countries around the world. True, they
are costing us a great deal of hard cash to prop them up, but they are happily
independent and will no doubt vote consistently with us in the U.N. General
Assembly if they are ever granted membership (perhaps in late 2080).2. I am even happier with our work in regaining Crimea for Russia! Despite the
imposition of some trivial sanctions, our actions were approved by a total of 10 stalwart friends and allies in the U.N. General Assembly (Belarus, Cuba, Nicaragua,
North Korea, Syria, Venezuela, and several others). A fine group of partners.
The remaining countries that either condemned us or abstained will no doubt
over time see the wisdom in our actions.3. Clearly our campaign to subvert Ukraine is working well. The Little Green
Men of Russia are having enormous impact and will mount a lethal campaign that
will at the least create real havoc in Ukraine. NATO slumbers and we move out. What could be better?